As this is my Blog and my privilege to state my thoughts without having cynicism opposed to my convictions (which is why I keep them to myself nowadays) I had the very emotional experience of 'communicating' with him several times since ... it was so much 'his' style ... all seemed well with him. Maybe I'll transcribe here some of it sometime, just to bear witness and to have it stated somewhere in the Internet galactic spaces ...
A few years have passed and I know as much as was permitted for me to know...
note added after edition :
(Writing this has prompted me to read again an article I wrote -which had been accepted for edition on several Sites, a long time ago, long before B's departure. Doing this, I live again the emotions and the certitudes they had brought me, and the desire to have them shared by grieving people, for their soothing... and not only by grieving people .. because it should bring such hopes and such a different view on parting..)
http://www.trans4mind.com/counterpoint/ford.shtml (or last item in the links' column on the right).
So now I'll just revive some long past happy memories.
This is a much loved place for me : we used to live near la Bastille, a popular 'quartier' which is not far from Notre-Dame and la Seine, in an ancient faubourg of artisans : Faubourg Saint Antoine, where they still had their workshops for making furniture and dealing with wood.
We lived there our first years of young married life in a small flat that had been a stockroom for wood !
We had a tiny kitchen, a tiny bathroom and one bigger room like a studio, top floor, under the old roofs, wooden stairs, of course no lift.
We would hear the pigeons coo and the shrill cry of swallows dashing by on summer evenings, under the Paris roofs and starry skies : a love nest.
These were very happy years of our lives.
I recently found a very old video of these times, which I'd forgotten about.
I spent a lot of time trying to extract some photos from it. I was pleased to somehow manage to capture a few !
So this is/ WAS ... me and my very new husband Bernard.... in those times ...
I was naturally dark haired but apparently had gone blondy for a while ?
His eyes were blue, mine green ...
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As a conclusion : these few lines (about toys) which I like to think could apply to me NOW ...
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You BECOME.
It takes a long time.
That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.
Generally, by the time you are REAL, most of your hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out and you get loose (and painfully stiff) in the joints and rather shabby.
But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand and who don't love."
from ‘The Velveteen Rabbit’ by: Margery Williams
1 commentaire:
Lovely memories. I remember the little flat well when Gran and I visited. I slept on the floor on a rubber mattress right next to a kitchen cupboard where you kept some very nice bottles of liqueur. I waited till you and Gran were asleep (Bernard went to a hotel to leave us some space) and had sips of each bottle. I always slept very well ! ! !
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